May 5th – Sounds like a good day to die…
These words still echo through my mind on this day as vividly as when they were spoken 22 years ago.
They were spoken by a dear friend who was having a psychotic episode which ultimately led to her attempting suicide in my home in front of me and my 3-month-old daughter.
The event itself was traumatizing, to say the least, but that is not what left the emotional scars; how it was handled afterwards (I should say not handled appropriately) is what created the deep spiral of shame and depression in my life.
You see, 22 years ago mental health was still a taboo subject for many, and PTSD was only starting to get the support it deserved. The “incident” was never talked about. Life just went on, except for me, life was surreal. I was living in a nightmare loop that occasionally I would startle awake from. It seemed like everyone else was living their lives in their own happy little bubbles. I felt alone and ashamed for not being able to move on and those close to me had no idea how to help. After working with psychologists, my wonderful family physician, utilizing medication when necessary, the support of family and friends as well as doing my own research on trauma – I have prevailed.
On a day that is a day of celebration for many, ironically a day celebrating the dead, I used to quietly go inward and reflect, but today I choose to embrace the sadness along with joy and vitality and to start sharing my why – this event, the friendship I had with my dear friend (who has since died) shaped who I am today and has been one of the driving forces behind why I created Inspire Centre.
Inspire Centre was created as a safe place for all clients to seek refuge from the chaos of life, whether it’s daily life stresses and overwhelm, tight sore muscles from overwork or injury – to anyone struggling emotionally, not having their best day – you are all welcome here, tears and all. We see you, we are you, we hold space for you.
We also have a wonderful group of counsellors within Inspire Centre who are ready to be of service should you find yourself struggling, and I urge anyone interested in healing from trauma to read “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessle Van Der Kolk. It was life-changing for me.